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Party Pooper Pants (321SPONGEBOLT's version)
Act 1 Patchy Transcript Part 1 (After the theme song ends, the screen slowly fades from black showing us the logo for this special's alternate title, "Spongebob's Birthday Party" Ron Goodwin's score, "A Pirate's Life for Me (a)" plays during the opening narration.) French Narrator: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to "Spongebob's Birthday Party"! (The camera switches to Patchy) With your host, Patchy the Pirate. (Camera shows a punch bowl) There'll be fruit punch, (Camera shows a treasure chest opening to reveal cookies with yellow frosting) cookies, (We see an archive clip of Patchy covered in ashes an hopping in the doorway from "Shangheid") explosions, (Camera shows a birthady cake that resembles Spongebob's face) a giant birthday cake, (We see an image of Spongebob) and a brand-new episode of "SpongeBob SquarePants"! Old-time crowd: Hooray! French Narrator: Now to celebrate zis this birthday, live, from Encino, California, get ready for a warm embrace from our party host, Patchy the Pirate! Patchy: OPENING TITLE CARD AND CREDITS Title Card music - Honolulu March (Hans Haider) Rewrite by - 321SPONGEBOLT Guest Starring - Lux Interior as the lead singer of The Bird Brains Featured Song - "Underwater Sun" performed by Lux Interior Act 1 Episode Transcript Part 1 (Bubbles rise revealing the Barg'N-Mart, then we fade to Spongebob inside with a shopping cart) French Narrator: Ah, ze the Barg'N-Mart. A consumer's paradise of brand-like items, stocked as far as the eye can see. Act 1 Patchy Transcript Part 2 (Patchy laughs as an iris opens, revealing him laughing) Patchy: Patchy: (Storms back into his house) No, no, no! STOP THE MUSIC! STOP! (The Bird Brains stop playing) Look, boys, I know that you fellas sound good around the birdbath, but this here is basic cable! This is the big time! I'm afraid it's time for you to walk the plank. Bird Brains lead singer: You mean we're fired? Patchy (Gets an idea): No... (We cut to upstairs where Patchy has a wooden plank on his windowsill. We swings his sword shooing the birds off the plank) Patchy: Go on, start jumping, or you'll be dealing with the business end of me sword! (As he evilly laughs, the birds squawk and just fly off.) No! I forgot that you're birds! (Breaks into tears and cries while whacking his sword at his hat) (We cut to a green screen saying "Please Stand By...") French Narrator: Please stand by. While Patchy pulls himself togezer together, let's see how SpongeBob's party is shaping up. Act 1 Episode Transcript Part 2 (Screen cuts to a black screen, then fades from black revealing Spongebob's decorated pineapple. Then we cut to inside, where inside the pineapple is loaded with birthday decorations. Then the screen flies to the right, revealing Spongebob in a bowtie, waiting for his birthday guests to arrive.) French Narrator: Zat That includes you folks. (The "Spongebob's Birthday Party" logo spins and flies to the center of the screen) "Spongebob's Birthday Party" will be right back after zese these messages. (Screen fades to black) Act 2 Episode Transcript (Original) NOTE: This is the normal ending. You don't have to read this if you don't like how it originally turned out. (Screen fades from black to reveal Patchy and the other pirates partying during The Mel-Tones' "Bird Lady from Ghost Town") French Narrator: Ahoy! (The "Spongebob's Birthday Party" logo spins and flies to the center of the screen) Welcome back to "Spongebob's Birthday Party"! (Screen fades to black, then fades from black to show Spongebob's pineapple outside, then we cut over to the closet where Spongebob hands Gary another coat.) Spongebob: Act 2 Episode Transcript (Alternate) NOTE: This is the alternate version of the ending to this episode. You don't have to read this again if you only read the original cut. (Screen fades from black to reveal Patchy and the other pirates partying during The Mel-Tones' "Bird Lady from Ghost Town") French Narrator: Ahoy! (The "Spongebob's Birthday Party" logo spins and flies to the center of the screen) Welcome back to "Spongebob's Birthday Party"! (Screen fades to black, then fades from black to show Spongebob's pineapple outside, then we cut over to the closet where Spongebob hands Gary another coat.) Spongebob: Act 2 Patchy Transcript Part 1 (Screen fades from black revealing Patchy) Patchy: Oh ho ho, I'm glad to see that old SpongeBob had a great birthday party! But now, it's time to get back to my party! Ready for some real music, Potty? Potty: (Someone places corks in his ears) Bawk! Okay, ready. (Patchy is shown wearing a drum on his back. He blows a pipe and starts singing.) Patchy: ♪OH...! Scurvy ain't for the likes of me, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho.♪ ♪OH...!♪ (We see the party-goers confused at what Patchy is trying to do as the camera shows them from right to left) Patchy (Off-screen): ♪Yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho, yo ho.♪ Patchy (On-screen): ♪OH...! Scurvy ain't for the likes of...♪♪ (Before he can finish, Potty interrupts.) Potty: Bawk! (Patchy stops playing) It's time for your flute solo. (Hands Patchy a flute) Patchy: Thank you, Potty, I almost forgot. (He's almost about to play it, but realizes something.) Wait a minute. I don't play a flute. I play a fife. (The camera zooms out revealing Patchy was holding a stick of dynamite) Aah!! POTTY, NO! [BOOM!] (The crowd cheers and the camera shows Patchy's face covered in smoke) Patchy (Head only): Wow, I can't believe I survived that one. (Camera cuts back, revealing Patchy without his body. Patchy whimpers) Potty, help me! Act 2 Patchy Transcript Part 2 ("Underwater Sun") Potty: Ladies and gentlemen, bawk! The Birdbrains! Bird Brains: ♪Come with me to the land I love,♪ (We cut to a hand blasting off like a rocket, and landing in the ocean by Spongebob's pineapple.) Bird Brains (Voice-over): ♪It's not right here, down the street, or up above. It's down below in the deep blue sea. Where SpongeBob lives, and the fun is always free.♪ ♪Down, down, down, to the bottom of the sea. Where our salty friend SpongeBob waits for you and me.♪ (Dolphin chirps are heard as mini Spongebobs rain down the screen, revealing the next shot.) ♪Down, down, down, ahh, we'll have lots of fun. You and me forever in the underwater sun.♪ ♪We'll catch some jellyfish if we get a chance.♪ (Spongebob's "Hello" flies out of his mouth, and he and Patrick dance to the music.) ♪Say "hello" to Patrick, and do a little dance.♪ (Sandy and Spongebob fly at each other and karate chop their heads, causing the screen to shatter.) ♪Karate chop Sandy.♪ (Spongebob and Patrick spy on Squidward tanning) ♪See Squid get a tan.♪ (Spongebob eats a Krabby Patty and stomps his bare foot in front of Plankton) ♪Eat a Krabby Patty and foil Plankton's plan!♪ ♪Down, down, down, to the bottom of the sea. We'll hook up with SpongeBob and his snail Gary.♪ (Gary meows after his shell opens up, revealing another Spongebob.) ♪Down, down, down, ahh, we'll have lots of fun. You and me forever in the underwater sun.♪ ♪Underwater sun.♪ (Spongebob turns off his night lamp and we cut back to Patchy's room, where the party-goers applaud and cheer.) Act 2 Patchy Transcript Part 3 (Ending) (In the next shot, we see Patchy with a barrel and sticks for a body.) Patchy (Head only): Aha! Great job, boys! Thanks for stopping by! Don't hit the porthole on the way out. (To the camera) And thank you for stopping by! You've made this party a real fun time. (The doorbell rings) Potty: Bawk, the ladies are here! Patchy (Head only): Oh! Ladies! (Heads to the front door) Shiver me timbers! (Opens the door) Welcome, girlies! (Chuckles, but stops because the ladies are female birds and they giggle as they come in and attack him) Huh! No! Potty: Goodbye, folks! Happy birthday, Spongebob! Patchy (Head only): It's Potty you're after! French Narrator: Well, (The "Spongebob's Birthday Party" logo appears one last time) thanks for coming to "Spongebob's Birthday Party"! Patchy (Head only): Belay the kissing! Belay the kissing! (The screen fades to black, then when the screen fades from black, the credits show the Bird Brains jamming out, until the closing Nickelodeon logo is revealed on the last note.) THE END W.I.P. Category:321SPONGEBOLT Category:Transcripts Category:Fanon Works Category:Rewritten Versions of Episodes